Red & Blues of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
by Ron the True Fan
Summary: A few years after the Jedi Civil War, the Blood Gulchers are back, to drive the Republic insane and save the galaxy from the Sith Triumvirate. But will they drive everyone around them insane? Dicontinued in current form.
1. Prologue: It all starts here

Red and Blues of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

It was calm at the Peragus mining station until...

"FUCK!"

_They_ arrived.

Nine idiots, all wearing red and blue armor of differing shades, and armed to the teeth, were on the ground, in a jumbled pile.

"Simmons, where the hell are we?"

"It ain't the Chaos, that's for sure."

Doc sat up and two lasers were pointed at his face.

"Uh, guys?"

Sarge looked at saw a spider droid pointing low caliber lasers at them.

"Shit."

Sarge activated the red lightsaber that he stole from Bandon several months earlier and hacked the arms off.

Church kicked the droid away and used his SRS99D to blow the CPU of the damn thing to pieces.

Sarge shut off the lightsaber and was shot at seconds later.

A woman with a survival blaster and a modest under layer of clothing had just shot at them.

"Who the hell are you?"

"We're the Reds and Blues."

"The Blood Gulchers? I heard rumors that you appeared, but I never thought I'd meet them here on this mining facility."

"Where the hell have you been?"

"The Outer Rim. Elle Simmons."

"Another one? First Grif, now Simmons! Who's next: Caboose?"

"Don't start, Church."

Then more droids appeared.

"Where's Tex when you need her?"

Then a familiar tune was heard.

"I know that song."

Then a five ton death machine known as the Warthog ran over two of the droids. A black armored woman was in the driver's seat.

"What's up, people?"

"Tex? How the hell did you get that Warthog?"

"Does it matter? We're under attack by crazy-ass robots and that's the only thing you're wondering?"

"How many of you people are there?"

"Stow it, Jedi, and get in!"

"How-"

Sarge grabbed her and pushed her onto the 12.5mm Gatling gun, and Grif got in the driver's seat, pushing Tex over.

"No offence, but I survived you shooting at us driving this thing. I'm the better driver."

He ran over two more droids and drove into a tunnel. Kaikaina was shooting at the droids with the rocket launcher.

"We need to get through these mining tunnels! Drive, damn it!" Grif, being both an ex-UNSC driver and Pelican pilot, got through the tunnels with no trouble.

A few uses of the Force never hurt, either.

"Hey, what's going on down there?" "Atton, now isn't the TTTIIIMMMEEE!" Grif barreled through a door leading to a maintenance room just as the door shut behind them. "Nice driving, Grif." "On my scale of driving, that was a zero, as in the worst driving experience I've ever had." "Ah, shut up." Then a familiar looking droid walked over. "HK-47? When the hell did you get here?" "Statement: I am not an HK-47. I am an HK-50 protocol droid."

Church chuckled.

"More like 'assassination droid'."

Church took aim with his SRS99D. There was no way in hell he could miss. "While HK-47 was a good little bastard, you, on the other hand, are going to be a pain later." "Church..."

He fired, missing the droid completely. "Damn it! CABOOSE!" The sights were useless and covered in crayon wax.

And only Caboose used crayons.

Church grabbed Tucker's Plasma Sword and impaled the droid.

"Systems failing, Master..."

"Stay dead!"

The weapon shut off, and he handed the hilt back to Tucker. Caboose grabbed the body of the droid.

"Caboose..."

"I need a new best friend!"

"Caboose, shut up! That is the worst idea you've ever come up with! We just recovered from a massive battle on a Dark Side factory of death, the 5th IGIB is nowhere to be seen, our ship is missing and YOU WANT A DROID?"

"Well..."

"SPRIGGS!"

Spriggs and her Mongoose drove past the Warthog and Willy, with his rocket launcher, followed.

Elle, now wearing a space suit, saw the crazy idiots enter the airlock.

Willy fired off two rockets, breaching the doors on both sides.

Both the Blood Gulchers and the exiled Jedi were blown into space.

"FFUUCCKK!"

They got caught on a walkway, but Grif managed to get them across.

"_I'm picking you up outside the mining facility. That can't be right_."

"Really, Atton? Look up."

A man looked up.

"_What are you doing out there_?"

"Getting to the dormitories! It's the only way to get through."

"_You're insane, even for a Jedi_!"

"Well, these guys are crazier!"

"_The Blood Gulchers? I've heard of them, and they're evil_!"

"We're not evil. The _Meta_ is evil!"

Then Atton Rand's control console beeped.

"Oh, what now?"

Sarge looked off into the distance.

"Looks like a ship."

Peragus Control Room

"The ship's called the _Harbinger_, a Republic warship. And it's docking."

Elle groaned over the comlink.

"_Well, that's just fucking great! We've got someone trying to kill his ex-girlfriend, a shitload of droids trying to kill us and a Republic warship! What the fuck's next? A Freelancer_?"

Republic warship Harbinger

A men wearing grey-and-yellow MOLJINIR-VII armor dodged a grenade from another set of MOLJINIR-VII, only white.

"Go away, Wyoming! I'm not in the mood to deal with you!"

"Ah, Washington. I thought it was you."

The white Freelancer raised his new Brute Shot and fired at the other Freelancer.

The wounded man coughed up some blood.

Wyoming had ambushed him the second he came on board; now the white armored bastard had a Brute Shot and was shooting at him with it!

"The Sith want to speak with you, Wash! After all, you've screwed up their plans on a number of planets!"

"Well, sorry, Wyoming, but I'm not in the mood to talk to a Sith Lord!"

Then a 14.5x114mm sabot round went into Wyoming's arm, nearly removing the Freelancer's arm.

"Get back here, Wyoming, and die!"

Washington looked in the direction that the shot came from.

Church was aiming down the corridor.

And actually hit the Freelancer?

"What the hell? You hit him?"

"I've made sure that the sights can't be fucked with. And this thing stays on me at all fucking times!"

He glared at Caboose.

"Never touch this sniper rifle ever again!"

"Let's get to the bridge. We need those asteroid charts to make it through the field."

"You've got a ship?"

"The good old _Ebon Hawk_."

"Look, you don't need the charts. Grif can fly the ship through the field with ease. Hell, anyone can."

"Then let's get the fuck out of here!"

A number of curses flew through the comlinks.

"_We've got Sith Troopers coming out of our asses here! Get back to the fucking_ Hawk!"

"We won't need the asteroid drift charts if Grif can pilot that damned thing!"

"_Good news! I've spoted your ship, the _Chaos_, just outside the asteroid field! If we can get to it, we're homeward bound_!" Church helped the Freelancer up.

"Let's get the fuck out of here."

"Fucking A!"

Light transport Ebon Hawk

"Get your asses on board, now!"

Sarge blasted a Sith Shock Trooper with his shotgun.

"Right! Fucking! Now!"

Then the Warthog drove into the ship's cargo bay, with the Blues on board.

"Grif, take off! Get us to the _Chaos_, NOW!"

"On it, Sarge! Lifting off!"

Republic warship Harbinger

Darth Sion was pissed off. (more so then usual)

Now he had to deal with the Blood Gulchers.

"Destroy that ship! I want those Blood Gulchers dead! _DESTROY THEM!_"

Light transport Ebon Hawk

"_Grif, step on it_!"

"I _am_ stepping on it! If there was a petal, my foot would be through the _Goddamned floor_!"

"The _Chaos_ is in sight! Damn, this is easier then piloting a Pelican!"

Then blaster fire barely missed the _Hawk_.

"Fuck! Those assholes are trying to kill us!" "No shit! Open fire!"

Grif locked out the weapons controls.

"We're surrounded by a shitload of explosive asteroids! We are _not_ firing back!"

The _Ebon Hawk_ cleared the field and docked with the larger _Chaos_.

Sarge managed to get to the bridge and the ship jumped into hyperspace just before the asteroid field exploded.

"I hate this job."

It's been over a year since the end of _Reds and Blues of the Old Republic_, and I've had writer's block on the RvB stuff for just as long.

Still, I've watched a few walkthroughs for _KOTOR 2_ and the last 8 seasons of _RvB_, and they have got me into the mood.

Time to make up for it.

Next Time, on _Reds and Blues of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords_: "Finally! Free from that damned ship!" "You're under arrest for destroying the planet Peragus!" "Fuck!"

Ja Ne!


	2. Chapter 1: Telos Madness

Red and Blues of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

Chapter 1: Telos Madness

The _Chaos_ docked with Citadel Station, with the _Hawk_ on board.

Grif got into his civilian clothes as he grabbed a M6D Magnum and stood up.

Sarge had his trademark M90A Shotgun on him, and Simmons had a plasma rifle.

"So, shouldn't we be headed for another planet?"

"Blame our Jedi friend down below. Besides, did we have any choice?"

They left the ship, and Grif got on his knees. Finally! Free from that damned ship!"

Then a group of security officers walked over.

"You're under arrest for destroying the planet Peragus!"

"Fuck!"

"Look, we weren't responsible for that!"

Two blaster rounds went by Grif's head.

The normally-orange armored soldier dodged the bolts, and shot the blasters out of their hands.

"What the hell? That's never happened before!"

"Don't question it, Grif!"

The Telos Security Force officers put their hands up.

"Fuck!"

"Look, we didn't blow up Peragus. Some jackass with a grudge against us did."

"Look, you're still going in a force cage for that! Marines!" "Shit!"

Three hours later

After an epic battle between the Marines and Blood Gulchers that lasted 5 hours, destroying Czerka Corporation's Citadel Station GHQ in the process, and killing every mercenary they hired, the Blood Gulchers, stripped of their weapons, but not their armor, were sitting in their force cages.

They literally painted 5 kilometers of the station red and blue with blood.

"We're going to be busy cleaning up after your massacre below."

Gren shuttered.

"You people are evil."

Washington looked at the Blood Gulchers.

"What you guys just did...should not have been possible."

"Believe me, that happens a lot."

8 hours later

Grif was busy watching _Mobile Suit Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory_ when some jackass walked in. After a long conversation with a bounty hunter, they were let out of their cages.

Sarge snapped the idiot's neck, and more TSF officers ran in.

"What the hell?"

"Jackass on the floor's a bounty hunter after her."

"That looks like Batu Rem."

"He's not even on the station!"

The TSF men and women dragged the moron out.

"We're putting you into a room under armed guard. You are not to leave it!"

Two days later

After finally finishing _MSG 0083 _and_ 0080 War in the Pocket_, Grif started watching Battlestar Galactica. Simmons was working on Tex's armor, and Church was toying with a Battle Rifle he hid inside his armor. Then the door opened.

"You've been cleared of involvement in the Peragus explosion, but you're not going anywhere. The _Ebon Hawk's_ been hijacked."

Sarge chuckled.

"Not a problem. I modified the weather control device inside Lopez long ago to recall the _Ebon Hawk_ if some jackass decided to steal it! Is the _Chaos_ still docked here?"

"Locked down and under repair, but yes."

"Good! Lopez, activate homing device!"

"OK."

The modified weather control machine activated, showing the same thing that happened in Episode 43.

"Those things again?"

"Couldn't get rid of 'em."

Then the ship rammed into the window.

"What the hell?"

The TSF officers ran out of the room. A droid walked in carrying their weapons.

"These are for you, Masters."

The Blood Gulchers took their weapons.

"Where the hell is Hammer?"

"On the surface. They stole a shuttle and are dealing with a shitload of mercs trying to kill them."

"Well, looks like we'll need to help them. Get in! We're kicking ass today!"

Surface of Telos

The thunder of a Scorpion MTB's 90mm cannon ripped another mercenary group to pieces.

Willy's chaingun wasn't helping the idiots either, but his targets were Spriggs and the mercs.

"SPRIGGS! DIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Then a shuttle (as the Ebon Hawk was remote hijacked AGAIN) crash landed on the last group of retards and killed them.

Kreia wasn't too impressed.

"Wanton slaughter from the other group of fools, I see."

Sarge and Grif were tempted to put a round into the old woman's skull.

"Nice to see you, General."

"Bao-Dur. Good to see you again."

Church snorted.

"Served in the war?"

"The Mandalorian Wars."

That nailed it.

They pointed their guns at Elle and her comrades.

"What?" "You served with Revan."

"I came back and faced my punishment, then I was exiled. I'm no Sith."

The Alpha AI used the Force to sense her aura.

Light and hints of dark, but wasn't that everyone in general?

"Look, we need to get the fucking ship back."

"Well, it's in the polar regions now, so unless you plan on walking-"

The recall beacon activated, and a Pelican landed nearby.

"OK, that works."

Telos polar region

After a few SAMs hit the Pelican, Grif had a hard as hell time keeping the transport in the air.

"What the hell hit us?" Simmons looked out the window.

"Remember that HK-50 at Peragus?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, he's got pissed off friends shooting at us!"

The Pelican crash-landed, and the entire RvB crew, plus Elle's party, were thrown out through the window.

"Fuck!"

Then they heard growling.

"I know that growl."

It was the one thing they didn't want to run into: the fucking Meta.

"Oh, that's just perfect." Then a shuttle landed nearby. Out came Wyoming.

"Well, well, chaps. Tracking you down was a bitch to say the least. And Wash, I'm going to make you pay for the loss you gave on the Harbinger."

"That was Church's doing!"

"Annoyed Statement: we have been waiting for you, Jedi. Additional Statement: And the Blood Gulchers. We have to capture you alive to receive our payment."

"Great."

The Meta wanted Church and Tex, Wyoming wanted Tucker and Washington dead, and the loyal droid dumbasses wanted them alive.

"Well, you assholes aren't taking us!"

The Blood Gulchers opened fire, and Sarge threw a lightsaber at Wyoming.

Atton and Kreia were amazed at the stupidity of the Blood Gulchers. Still, if they could survive the destruction of the Star Forge, they could survive this. Elle attacked the Meta, using Makashi to destroy his Brute Shot.

Wyoming stood no chance against Atton's blaster skills nor Kreia's skills with the Force.

And the droids...

Well, I don't think anything could survive their insanity for any length of time.

"Systems failing, Master..."

The two Freelancers were thrown off the cliff, and the droids were useless.

Caboose started stripping them of everything that worked.

"Good Christ."

They entered the building and were met with a large number of vibroblades.

"Ah, fuck."

Nearby

Atris gaped.

Elle Simmons was here.

This was bad.

Very bad.

If she was here, then the Blood Gulchers would follow.

Then she saw the Handmaidens push said Spartans into holding chambers.

"Shit."

She sighed.

Elle was her hero, in a sense.

But she couldn't say that in front of her.

"Brianna!"

The young woman ran over.

"If and when they are released, you are going with them. They are...needed."

"My Mistress?"

"If the Jedi Order is to survive, I must find students, no matter the age. You will help me do this. And if I have to make her my apprentice, I will."

"Yes, Mistress."

Atris pulled out Elle's lightsaber.

In the cells

The Blood Gulchers were taking one hell of a nap.

Atton and Kreia had just finished their 'talk', and Elle was taken out of her force cage.

At least, that's what Washington saw.

He was thinking about what happened over the last five years.

He'd worked with Jedi, Mandalorians, and even the Hutts looking for the idiots nearby.

They were his only ticket getting home.

And if not, well, he could sure use the target practice.

Two Handmaidens walked in.

"Mistress Atris will see you."

"Thought she was talking to the Exile."

"Move."

"Just asking."

They shut Wash's cage off, and he walked with them.

"So, anyone else here besides us?"

They smacked him upside the head.

"What was that for?"

"Being a sexist pig."

With Atris

Her hero.

That was Elle Simmons to Atris.

Elle fought in the war.

She didn't.

She chose exile after returning.

"You plan on searching for the rest of the Jedi, if there are any?" "That was the idea, Atris. And if I can have my ship back, I can do just that!"

'I wish I could go with you, if only to see if you could rejoin us.'

Then Washington arrived.

"Well, if it isn't the bitch who locked me up with the loyal retards."

"You're going with her. And I have a proper transport for you."

"What? A UNSC destroyer?"

Nearby

"Whoa."

It was a _Centurion_-Class battlecruiser.

"One of the last ships left in the Republic. The _Ryloth_."

"Well, she's big."

Washington and Sarge chuckled.

"The _Chaos_ is still our flagship. Still, I'd love to work on that mother."

"I'm giving you the Ryloth in order to protect your charge."

"Elle? She can take care of herself."

Atris was not trying to get angry.

"You will go with her, Blood Gulcher."

"And I'm immune to Jedi mind tricks."

A gun was pointed at Wash's head.

"Not immune to bullets."

"South..."

The Nimitz couldn't stop me from writing this chapter, and either will anything else!

It's been a while, and so, this will be a long term story.

Don't expect too many updates.

Next time, on Reds and Blues of the Old Republic: "Onderon isn't going to be friendly." "_The _Ebon Hawk_. We knew you were coming_." "What did I just say?"

Ja Ne!


	3. Chapter 2: Inglorious Mandalorians

Red and Blues of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

Chapter 2: Inglorious Mandalorians

"So, is there a reason we're here?"

Sarge shrugged.

"There's a Jedi Master down there."

Grif looked at Elle as a Colonel Tobin hailed the _Ebon Hawk_.

"Onderon isn't going to be friendly." "_The _Ebon Hawk_. We knew you were coming_."

"What did I just say?"

A few fighters attacked the ship, but Atton got them away from the battle.

"Get us to that moon! NOW!"

The _Ryloth_ and _Chaos_ kept them covered until they left the battle.

Of course, the two warships could keep the fighters off the Hawk's ass with ease.

On the surface of the moon

Elle was nursing a massive headache.

"Please tell me those assholes aren't following us."

"They're still in orbit, duking it out with the other ships in orbit."

"Good. I don't want my headache getting any worse. If we're on the moon I think we're on, it's going to."

Atton chuckled.

"This is not funny, fool."

"Kreia, what moon are we on?"

"Her headache is about to get worse. This is Dxun, the flashpoint of the Mandalorian Wars."

Grif smacked himself on the head with a stray magazine.

"We're on Dxun? Aw, fuckberries!"

Tucker smacked him on the head. "That's my line!" Sarge grabbed his shotgun.

"Line or no, Grif's got a point. That means that this moon's gonna be swarming with Mandalorians!"

Then Sarge was thrown into a window by Elle's Force Push.

"You made my headache worse. Let's go."

Dxun

After learning Beast Control, Elle, Sarge, Kreia and the rest of the RvB crew found a campfire.

"Fresh fire, no one around. Does this yell 'It's a fucking Trap' to anyone else?"

"Yeah, it does."

They walked toward it and suddenly 20 to 50 Mandalorian troopers appeared out of nowhere and had vibroblades at their throats.

"Son of a bitch, I hate it when I'm right."

"Mandalore wants to speak with you." "Fuck."

Mandalorian Camp

Elle and Sarge walked into the building.

"Well, well. Sarge and his Reds and Blues."

" Canderous Ordo. Figured it'd be you."

"You two know one another?"

"Fought together 2 years ago. Thought he was dead."

"Same to you."

"Well, you guys have things to do, don't you?"

"We need to get to Onderon."

"We need some help around the camp, Jedi. Prove your worth to the Mandalorians. The Blood Gulchers don't need to."

"We're still helping her."

The Mandalorian chuckled.

"Good for you."

In orbit

The _Chaos_ and _Ryloth_, or rather the _Hunter_, had finally killed all of the Onderon fighters.

"Holy shit! Never again!"

"What?"

"We are never fighting off 200 fighters ever again!"

Wash, Lopez and Tex were in command of the two vessels, and they destroyed all the attacking fighters.

"Ok, the droids are repairing any and all damage to the hull."

Wash sighed. "And what about the _Ebon Hawk_?"

"It's on Dxun, and it's not going anywhere."

"Well, I'm never comfortable doing nothing. I'll take a shuttle to Dxun."

"Then we're going with you. I need something to kill."

"Amen to that."

Wash walked out.

Dxun

"We are never going to set off a charge in the jungle again!"

"At least Mandalore's going to be happy. Construction droids, war droids and even a pair of NOVA mines are inside that thing! Where the hell did they get those?"

Sarge picked the mines up and gave one to Grif and the other to Simmons.

"Get those to the _Hawk_, STAT! Mandalore doesn't need to know about these things."

"Damn straight!"

Dxun/Onderon orbit

Tobin was pissed.

"Where the hell are they?"

"No idea, Colonel, but with those two former Republic warships in the area, and knowing that they are loyal to the Blood Gulchers, I wouldn't go close to Dxun with only one _Inexpungable_-Class capital ship and no support fighters."

"Damn it all to hell!"

Dxun

"You've earned one hell of a reputation out there, Jedi."

Elle chuckled.

"Blame the Blood Gulchers. Your Mandalorians seem afraid of them."

"Are you kidding? They know what those idiots can do! They're Proto-Jedi or something like that!"

Suddenly two dozen cloaked morons exploded due to Caboose's...mood swings.

In so many words, someone mentioned babies.

Grif, who was practicing Battle Meditation, sighed.

"What happened?"

"In a word?"

"Preferably."

"Sith."

Grif nodded and got up.

"Let's go. We've got a shuttle coming in, and Tex is on it."

Simmons covered his balls in pain.

Not physical, but mental.

The first time that they ran into Tex, he was kicked in the balls by the black-armored Freelancer.

Grif took a hell of a lot more damage, but he didn't take a plasma grenade to the face: Donut did.

Hell, under that armor, Donut was probably a girl now!

The Blood Gulchers walked over to their shuttle and took off, along with Mandalore's shuttle.

But things got worse in orbit.

RVBS _Chaos_

Lopez watched as both the Ebon Hawk and their own shuttle docked with the _Chaos_.

"Any problems, Lopez?"

"Si. Those Onderonian bastards shot my ship up."

"Don't worry, Lopez! I'll patch her up!"

Washington and Tex then spoted two ships: the same class as the _Chaos_.

"Uh-oh."

And one of them that the emblem of Project Freelancer on its' bow.

"Oh, shit; it's Wyoming!"

The _Centurion_-Class ship could hold it's own against one _Interdictor_-Class cruiser, but not two, and the _Chaos_ was in no shape to fight.

"Fuck this! Wyoming's got two ships, and ours aren't ready for another fight!"

Tex took the helm after pushing Grif out of his seat.

"Agreed! Tell the Hunter to move the hell out!"

Grif got back up and pushed Tex out of his chair.

He was the pilot.

"NO ONE FLYS MY SHIP!"

That was true.

Grif was the designated pilot/driver for the Reds, and he was the best one outside the regular army.

Hell, the best, period.

He just hated doing it.

"Someone man those guns while I work my magic!"

Magic, indeed: Tex was wondering why wasn't he recruited into the Freelancer program as a pilot!

He swung the Chaos around, and followed the Hunter into hyperspace.

The two ships dropped out and split up.

"We'll meet up with the Hunter at Nar Shaddaa. If we make it to Nar Shaddaa."

"We'll make it. We will, right?"

Unknown location, somewhere in the Y'Toub system

A shitload of bounty hunters were gathered in one place.

"The Jedi comes to Nar Shaddaa. While she walked the Smuggler's Moon, none shall touch her." Hanharr wasn't happy.

"Why?"

"Because she brings chaos with her."

The Twin Suns knew what he meant: the RVBS _Chaos_, flagship of the Reds and Blues.

And wherever they were, chaos followed. So they weren't going to bother.

"Statement: Goto means that the RVBS _Chaos_ and RVBS _Hunter_ will be accompanying the Jedi."

"The Blood Gulchers! Finally, worthy prey!"

"Condescending Statement: Wookie, you would stand no chance against the Blood Gulchers. They would rip you in half."

"The droids speak the truth, Hanharr. The one called Sarge is quite deadly with that shotgun of his." "No matter. Truce or no, I will kill them!"

"Good luck."

In orbit of Nar Shaddaa

With the droids now working on the two ships, Sarge focused on the one thing that needed to be done: modifying the weapons and shields on the _Hunter_ to something like the _Chaos_.

"Grif! How long until Wyoming catches up with us?"

"A long ass time. We jumped in and out of hyperspace 20 times just getting here. Those _Interdictors_ have shitty sensors, so they won't be catching up within the next few weeks."

"Good! The _Hawk's_ landing on the surface, and as soon as I'm done, we're joining them!"

Surface of Nar Shaddaa

Elle and Atton watched as two shuttles, carrying both the Reds and Blues, dropped them off and left.

"What happened?"

"Supervising the repairs on the Chaos and upgrading the weapons and shields on the Hunter. What's up?"

"Killed an Exchange lieutenant, freed the Refugee Sector and a lot of things that will piss the Exchange off."

"That's for damn sure."

Then a wookie ran toward them.

"Zaalbar?"

"Wasn't he with Mission?"

"And he used a bowcaster-Oh, shit it's another wookie!"

Tucker pulled out his Battle Rifle, but Sarge's shotgun blew the 'unfortunate' wookie's brains out. "Whoa."

"What, switched the buckshot out for deerslugs?"

"Damn straight! Deerslugs have superior range!"

"Well, he's dead. That's good."

"Let's move. I'm getting pissed off just thinking about dealing with the Exchange."

Sarge and Elle moved off, deeper into the Refugee Sector while someone was watching them.

Nearby

Mira watched the three groups move deeper into the Refugee Sector.

"Well, that took care of Hanharr. Now, to get my hands on that damned Jedi."

She waited for them to move on and started tracking them down and preparing to capture them.

After all, that's what she did best: she was a bounty hunter.

After several months, (I think) this story finally gets updated!

School's a bitch, as I'm starting to think it's beneath my abilities in general, but there's good news: it's my last year.

I'll be able to work on my more pain-in-the-ass stories (Not _Dead Geass_; still up for adoption, if anyone's interested) more often, but don't expect too many updates until the weekends.

I'm at school most of the day.

Next Time on _Reds and Blues of the Old Republic II_: "So, now that we're on board, now what?" "We find Goto and blow his ass up!" "Right. And how do we blow up someone who I think is a fucking droid who can copy his ass into another droid?"

Ja Ne!

(Motion Tracker goes off)

Not again...


	4. Chapter 3: Another Civil War?

Red and Blues of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

Chapter 3: _Another_ Civil War?

"So, now that we're on board, now what?"

"We find Goto and blow his ass up!"

"Right. And how do we blow up someone who I think is a fucking droid who can copy his ass into another droid?"

Sarge looked at Church.

"WHAT?"

"He's a droid. The only human life on this ship is Elle."

"Let's go, RvB!"

Three days later

After an...eventful few days, and another two people joining the crew of the _Ebon Hawk_, and a shitload of refugees signing up to join the two RVB warships, the three ships were called by Xarga, saying, quote, 'Get your asses back to Onderon, NOW!'

Elle and Sarge agreed that they should head back, but the _Hunter's_ hyperdrive was offline.

There was enough time for three people to continue their training.

You see, Mira, Atton and Bao'Dur had started Jedi training under Elle.

G0t0 and the reactivated HK-47 were going at each other's throats-figuratively, obviously-and Lopez was focused on getting the _Hunter_ out of there quickly.

"There! Hyperdrive online!"

"Nice timing! Because Wyoming just showed up!"

Interdictor-class Freelancer vessel _Galileo Gali_

"Target those ships and destroy them, my good chaps!"

The three ships jumped into hyperspace.

"Damn. They're good. Activate gravity well generators!"

"They're out of the system."

"Track them!"

Dxun: 2 days and 15 hyperspace jumps later

"I hate being stuck on this ship for days on end!"

Sarge dumped a shotgun shell into a training droid.

"Grif, shut it! Be grateful that we're traveling faster then the speed of light!"

"Sarge, it's not that I'm not grateful, it's just the new guys are a pain in the ass to deal with." "Well, that's true." Washington walked in.

"This is worse then my days in Freelancer."

"What did you do?"

"Stole shit, killed shit, got betrayed multiple times."

Grif cocked his Battle Rifle.

"At least we're ready for whatever's on the surface."

Sarge chuckled.

"Don't think so, Grif! We're ODSTing our asses to Onderon!"

Grif and Wash looked at Sarge.

"As in Orbital Drop Shock Troopers? Cool! Never could join them."

"I was one. It wasn't fun."

Dxun

Elle smirked. A Basilisk War Droid, albeit modified, was sitting in front of her.

"I'm not liking that."

"You shouldn't. Always wanted to fly one of these things."

"It only holds 3 people at the moment, so the Blood Gulchers will have to deal with the Sith." "Correction: they're doing something called ODSTing down."

"That's gutsy, even for those idiots."

"What do you expect? Obibital bombardment?"

RVBS _Chaos_

Sarge smirked inside his droppod.

"Haven't done this in years!"

Wash wasn't getting in, and neither was Tex.

"What the hell are you waiting for?"

"We are _not_ going in those things!"

"Then you're staying here!"

Why the hell Sarge was in charge would be a mystery to them.

Oh, right: he was the highest ranking military officer on board, besides Grif.

They got into the droppods.

"Now, Helljumpers! How will you leave this ship?"

"Feet first!"

Grif was a little too happy.

"We drop in five!"

"Minutes?"

"Seconds!"

Grif's pod shut, and he was ejected from the Chaos at full speed.

"HHOOLLY SSHHIITT!"

Surface of Onderon

Tobin wasn't expecting to have a two-ton droppod land on his face.

Literally.

While he survived, (don't ask me how) he wasn't getting up for a LONG time.

Grif walked out of the pod and fired a rocket at the beast trying to break the force field down.

"So, care to tell me where the party is?"

The Sith beast master pulled out a lightsaber, but Wash's pod landed on him.

"Why did you fail the ODST exam?"

"Too lazy."

"Ah. That explains a lot."

The Rebels looked at one another and sighed.

"Fuck this."

Meanwhile

Sister and South were blasting their way through the Tomb of Freedon Nadd, along with the rest of Elle's crew.

"Oh, shit, not them!"

The Jedi-trained Mira and Atton cut through two Sith Masters, while South dumped enough bullets into the third to make him piss lead.

"Take what you can from these bastards. We're leaving."

The two Padawans picked up the lightsabers and sighed.

"Hopefully the Exile's doing much better then we are."

Atton chuckled.

"Whoever gets in her way normally gets screwed."

South remained quiet.

That bitch Atris forced her to be here when she should be free.

Onderon

Vaklu was worried. Talia was winning their sword fight, and that fucking Jedi was coming.

"You would lead us to death, Vaklu! The Republic is recovering thanks to the Blood Gulchers!"

"You would destroy our culture! To hell with the Republic!"

Then the door exploded, reveling Sarge, Tex, Wash and Grif.

"Sorry. You didn't invite us to your party, so we're crashing it."

Vaklu was scared. The Blood Gulchers were known for one thing: chaos.

That explained why Tobin was dead and why everything was going to fuck.

"Ah, shit."

Sarge fired a shotgun shell into Vaklu's head, killing him with one shot.

"Headshot with a shotgun at long range. Nice."

"He's using deerslugs."

"That explains it."

Talia put away her sword.

"Thank you for your help."

Then Elle ran in.

"Let me guess: killed him?"

Grif pointed at Sarge.

"He did it."

"That's not the Jedi way."

Exile or not, she was still a Jedi.

Kavar nodded.

"While I agree, Talia would have charged him with treason."

"Punishable by death, right. We need to talk, Master."

Outside the throne room

Using the Force, Kreia lifted the droppod off of Tobin.

'How he survived, I will never know.'

"Awaken, Colonel. Onderon is in dire danger."

"Would..."

His face started bleeding.

"If I could..."

Kreia wanted the Sergeant's shotgun.

That way, she could kill the idiot.

"When you've recovered enough, go to the _Ravager_. He will help you free Onderon from Talia."

He crawled toward the exit, very, very slowly.

RVBS _Chaos_

Simmons disabled the droppods so Grif wouldn't abuse them.

"Simmons! What's our next stop?"

"We know it and we hate it."

"Dantooine?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we'll head to the last planet on that list. How do you feel about going back to Korriban?" Simmons smirked.

After the insanity they caused?

Who wouldn't go back?

"Hell, yeah!"

"Wash! Tell Grif we're heading to Korriban! We got a Jedi to rescue!"

_Ebon Hawk_

"Dantooine. Never liked that planet, with the Academy and all."

"Vrook was an ass."

Elle looked at Kreia.

"Do not expect me to stay silent when the truth needs to be said."

"I'm surprised, is all. Still, that is true: total asshole."

The _Chaos_ and _hunter_ broke off, setting a different course.

"Where are they going?"

"Korriban."

"Ah. We will land on Dantooine momentarily. Hopefully they can get along."

Korriban

Sion felt a disturbance in the Force.

"Not them. Anyone but them..."

Bit late for that: the RVBS _Hunter_ was in orbit, and two shuttles were landing on the surface.

Sion shut down the security systems.

They would be useless against the Blood Gulchers.

"Shit. I may as well get ready for the inevitable."

DTC-77RVB Pelican II

The Super Pelican was Grif's ultimate creation.

Impossible to destroy, and carried two Scorpion tanks in its' hold.

Hammer and MMM were watching Grif fly the Pelican.

"Somehow, him piloting this thing doesn't make me feel any better."

"Relax. Unless Sion put up some AA guns, we are fine!"

Meme looked out the windows.

"Um, what's a missile that shoots down planes?"

"A Surface to Air Missile, or SAM. Why?"

Two SAMs raced toward the Pelican, but Grif yawned and did a simple barrel roll to dodge them.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"What? Can't everyone do that?"

"No. I'm an awesome pilot and I can't do that!"

"Huh. It's so damned simple."

He turned and fired two Archers at the SAM site, and turned to keep flying, all in one motion.

"That is not possible."

Grif shrugged.

"Who cares?"

Inside the Academy: 6 hours later

"So, the Jedi's dead?"

"Deader then Telos after it got nuked."

Grif pulled out a M6D and a lightsaber.

"I don't like this at all."

Sarge pulled out his shotgun and Simmons, two M7S CSMGs.

"Let's get back to the Super Pelican."

After going through hell to get to the Jedi, they had to run into the asshole, Darth Sion.

"Oh, fucking great. You."

Sion lit up his saber.

"I could say the same for you."

"Let's dance!"

Dantooine

Elle smirked at the huge amount of idiots running into mines, blaster fire and enough spikes to fill a spike pit.

"Never screw with the Jedi Order, fuckers!"

Bao'Dur fired a rocket at the mercs, killing more then a fair share of them.

Vrook sighed.

"And this is why we exiled you."

"Because I wanted to help and you didn't?"

He had to admit; she got him there.

"I will speak with you later."

"Fine by me."

Korriban

After dealing with shit from past, present and future, the Reds and Blues finally got to the Super Pelican.

"SPRIGGS!"

Willy was shooting at the Mongoose-riding 8th IGIMB member.

She, however, was guiding his bullets toward Sith targets.

"Willy, Spriggs, on the Super Pelican, NOW!"

"On it!"

And here it is!

I've been thinking: maybe Dead Space/RvB is a bad idea. After all, you can't drive them insane.

I'll find a way to keep these idiots in the game.

Next Time on Reds and Blues of the Old Republic: "Telos is under attack, one of the Sith Lords hunting us is coming here, and we have little to no back-up?" Simmons nodded. Sarge laughed. "It's like I never left the ODST Corps!"

Ja Ne!


	5. Chapter 4: One Down, Two to Go

Red and Blues of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

Chapter 4: One Down, Two to Go

Things were going to hell.

"Telos is under attack, one of the Sith Lords hunting us is coming here, and we have little to no back-up?"

Simmons nodded.

Sarge laughed.

"It's like I never left the ODST Corps!"

Sarge looked at Grif.

"Course is set! We're on our way to Telos!"

"Time to rock and roll!"

Two hours later

The _Ryloth_ dropped out of hyperspace and fired on the _Ravenger._

The larger ship was damaged much further.

But that wasn't what Sarge wanted.

He wanted his boots on the deck, so to speak.

Once the ship passed over the _Ravenger_, they would launch SOEIV pods at the damned thing and beat the shit out of Darth whoever and get him to stop the attack.

The _Ryloth_ quickly moved off, AA guns keeping the fighters off them.

Ten seconds later, Sarge kicked open his pod.

"Let's go, Reds!"

Grif jumped out of his pod.

"OW!"

"Elle, what the hell's going on over there?"

"_We're killing shit, Sarge! Find that son of a bitch_!"

"Done!"

Two Sith soldiers ran toward them, but Grif's battle rifle killed them.

"How'd my bullets taste, asshole?"

"Grif, get moving! Simmons, where are you?"

"_Dodging blaster fire, Sarge_!"

"Damned NERF rounds aren't gonna hit you, Simmons! Land that Pelican!"

"_I'm not Grif, sir_!"

Sarge sighed. "Damn it, should've left Grif to pilot the damned thing!"

Two more Sith ran toward them, but the deadly female Freelancer snapped their necks from behind. "Let's go."

"When did she-"

"Move!"

The Pelican

Simmons dodged the NERF guns of death, and set the Pelican down in the hanger.

Only to come face to face with a REALLY big blaster cannon.

"Shit!"

Thankfully, the gun exploded.

And ruined the Pelican's paint job.

Grif was going to be PISSED later.

"You are repainting my Pelican later!"

Or right now.

Simmons opened the hatch and everyone ran out.

Grif sighed.

"You ruined the Pelican's paint job! You are repainting it when we get back to the _Hunter_!"

The ship was falling apart, yet it was still flying.

Citadel Station

"They're on board?" "And screwing the Sith over! Seems to be their specialty!" Elle used her lightsaber to deflect the bolts back at the Sith troopers. "We need to get to the shuttle. Where the hell is Mandalore?"

"Waiting for us on the _Ravenger_! And...Oh, Force."

"What?"

"The Sith on the _Ravenger_ are killing themselves."

"Why?"

He put the Mandalorians on the horn.

"Oh, God! This isn't possible!"

"Die already! FUCK!"

"He wasn't holding a lightsaber! How did that happen?"

Elle sighed.

The RvB crew was up to their usual antics: driving people insane and making them kill themselves.

"Oh, God."

RVBS _Ryloth_

Lopez was enjoying himself, at least.

The _Ravenger_ was putting up one hell of a fight, but the _Centurion_-Class ship the RvB crew was using had better weapons and one hell of a gunner.

"I hate this ship."

Then the _Chaos_ dropped out of hyperspace and opened fire on the _Ravenger._

"Sheila!"

"_Hello, Lopez. Firing main weapons at_ Ravenger."

The two machines continued the attack on the Sith warship.

_Ravenger_

Sarge had switched to the MA5C assault rifle due to the range issue.

Then he threw a plasma grenade into a crowd.

"SPIDER!"

BOOM!

"At least it isn't Operation Hand Grenade!"

"Shut up, Grif!"

Another frag grenade went down the hall and exploded. Then they nearly got hit by a sniper round.

"Shit! It's Wyoming!"

Another 14.5mm sabot round ripped through the hallway.

"Die, damn you!"

Church returned fire with the sniper rifle.

"Blast you!"

It seems that Wyoming was hit.

"Ha!"

Sarge ran from cover to cover, he found Wyoming, hit in the face.

He was still alive, but only because of his helmet.

Sarge fired his shotgun at Wyoming's head, hopefully killing him.

Washington kicked Wyoming, just to make sure he was dead.

"He's dead."

"Took long enough. He was a pain in the ass from day one."

Citadel Station

"Let's go! We're breaking them!"

It seemed that the RvB boys left them a present: South Dakota.

While she was more suited to working with her brother North, she was still a pain in the ass to get with.

"Move it!"

South dodged blaster fire and jumped when she saw a grenade at her feet. It exploded, and she landed at within a large group of Sith soldiers.

She pulled out her M7 CSMG and let loose. 5mm bullets flew in every direction, hitting at least one Sith each.

"This is worse then that day on the oil platform!"

Then a familiar face appeared.

It wasn't a Red, or a Blue, or even a Freelancer.

It was Sharkface, with his trademark flamethrower.

"You aren't going to die, are you?"

Sharkface responded with fire.

Elle and company were nearly burnt a dozen times.

"Good god, woman, how many enemies do you people have?"

"What the fuck will it take to kill you?"

South picked up a blaster and leveled it at Sharkface.

If bullets didn't work, maybe ionized plasma would.

She fired at Sharkface, peppering the son of a bitch with blaster rounds.

While less accurate then a NERF gun, that didn't matter at point blank range. It also didn't work.

"What the fuck?"

More fire, South screaming like a banshee and an exposed tank gave Elle and Bao'Dur an idea.

"Shoot the tanks!"

They opened fire, hitting the fuel tanks on Sharkface's back. BOOM!

"Hell yeah! Take that, Carolina!"

Sharkface wasn't dead, however, for his armor protected him against everything up to and including 190mm tank shells.

"What the fuck is WITH THIS GUY?"

He was, however, unable to fight.

He limped off, the explosion doing some kind of damage.

"So, we get to the shuttle?"

"Hell yes we do!"

South sighed.

"Nearly fucking roasted and this is how I get treated."

"You've got badass armor. You'll live."

South took her helmet off and spat out some blood.

"Fucking hell."

They were staring at her.

"What?"

"You've got WHITE hair?"

"Up yours!"

The _Ravenger_

The Reds and Blues had done their job and killed everything in the ship.

Almost everything, at least.

"Hey, uh, guys?"

"What is it, Doc?"

"There's something on the other side of that door..."

The door opened revealing the one thing they didn't want to see.

Maine.

"Aw, fuckberries! It's the Meta!"

And he had back-up.

Two women in ODST armor-or something that LOOKED like ODST armor-were pointing rifles at them.

"Shit."

Meta growled.

"Understood."

The two women opened fire with their weapons, which Sarge quickly IDed as Designated Marksman Rifles.

"DMRs? Those things suck!"

The crew took cover.

"Why?"

"15 round clip , it's semi-auto, it doesn't have enough stopping power, it can't breach Covenant shields even when the full clip's dumped into it-"

"Every weapon is lethal in the right hands!"

A DMR round hit Grif in the face.

He was badly wounded, but not dead.

"Case in point."

"Doc, patch him up!"

Church fired his SRS99D at the two, wounding one, but then he noticed something.

"These guys are Spartans!"

"WHAT?"

"They're Spartan-IIIs, like the ones on Reach!"

"Great, it's fucking Noble Team!"

"Just kill them quickly, then target the Meta!"

The Meta wasn't doing nothing, as they were reminded when a Brute Shot round nearly hit the Blues.

"You idiots handle the IIIs, _I'll_ take care of Maine!"

Tex jumped up to attack the Meta, and was joined by Wash.

Tucker stabbed one of the Spartan-IIIs, killing her.

"I SO did not want to do that."

She shot him in the balls just before she died. Tucker managed to get the last word, though:

"Now, I DON'T regret it, you fucking bitch."

Tucker hit the deck, unconscious.

Sarge killed the last one with a shotgun round to the face.

"I HATE doing that!"

Then they rushed the Meta.

Caboose's MA5C actually managed to hurt the Meta with a few shots to the face.

Tex and Wash then pulled out two plasma grenades and stuck them to Maine's face.

"See you in hell, motherfucker!"

The grenades exploded, and the two Freelancers were thrown back.

They were badly hurt from the explosion, though.

"Doc!"

The purple armored medic tended to their wounds, being finished with Grif and Tucker.

"Simmons, get them back to the Pelican! Alright, Blues, we got a Sith Lord to kill! Move out!"

The sergeant and his Blues headed for the bridge.

The Mandalorian Team and the Jedi

"Nothing for us to kill, it seems."

Mandalore wasn't buying it.

"Keep your eyes open. I do not like this at all. And those idiots had to have missed something." Elle and Co. walked past the Mandalorians.

"Unlikely, Mandy boy. They're on their way back to their transport."

"What happened?"

"They ran into an old friend of theirs and most of them are hurt badly. Let's get to the bridge. They'll need our help."

I'm back, but it seems that Writer's Block has hit this story once again. I actually started this chapter after I finished Chapter 3, but I forgot about it.

But I'm back on the ball. Hopefully.

Next Time on Reds and Blues of the Old Republic: "It's the end of the line!" Traya chuckled. "The end of your line, you fucking idiots!"

Ja Ne!


	6. Author's Note

Red and Blues of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords

Author's Note

I'm sorry, guys, but this story is getting discontinued. I just can't write it anymore. You're free to adopt it, just PM me if you plan on it.

I was planning on sending the idiots into the Mass Effect universe, but with Seasons 8 and 9 out, everything my storyline had is useless.

Still, I might decide to revive it one day after conciderable rewriting and such.

Ja Ne, everyone, and thanks for reading.


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